All things sweet and pretty… NOT!

Well, well…. I started to gear up my job search a couple of weeks ago after Laetitia turned 1.  I worked on translating my resume with the help of Etienne and finally managed to finish it about 3 weeks back.  I then proceeded to slowly send out some applications for jobs that caught my attention.  At the same time, I post my resume on several job search sites.  And last week, I received a call from a London based headhunter for a position based in Paris.

Well, there was a little problem when I didn’t receive an email that he was suppose to send me and I did not take down his contact number. DUH.  Anyways, just as I was about to brush it off, he called me again yesterday.  Hah.  He was wondering why I did not reply to his email (which contained details for the position he is headhunting for) and had asked for a copy of my English resume since he mentioned that his French is not great.  I explained that I did not receive the email and he told me that I have a very interesting profile and as he will be in Paris next week, he would like to set up a meeting with me.  GREAT!

So, now I have an appointment next Wednesday. :-)  We’ll probably talk more about the role etc and I’ll see where that might take me.  It’s definitely God’s grace.  I didn’t even send him my resume.  My one concern is that I have a 6 weeks holiday to Singapore planned for summer and there is no way I am going to cancel it.  Well, if they like me enough, I guess they will wait. :p

Praise GOD! 

Finally I had the chance to enjoy Paris the way I have been wanting to, like a tourist!

Etienne took Laetitia with him to his parents a couple of weeks back and I had the chance to do some sightseeing and visits.  I must say it was really enjoyable and we have decided that I will be taking a solo trip to Rome this coming June to give myself another relaxing well deserved break.

So, back to my home alone weekend in Paris.  I took the opportunity to take a little tour inside Opera and then took the train to Versailles to see the Sun King (Louis XIV) chateau.  I also went for a nice relaxing coffee at the tres chic Cafe Marly in the Louvre museum. And to end it all, I spend a lazy afternoon in the prettiest Starbucks reading a book.

Of course, I can’t just tell you all these without the obligatory photos. :-)  Check out this link.

Over the weekend, I lost my engagement ring and my wallet!!!

I seriously do not know what is happenning.  The week before my handphone was snatched out of my hands and then this.  I mean what is the coincidence that all the bad things could happen to the same person (ME?!?!).

We were in Barcelona for the weekend and on Saturday we were out in the mall and all of a sudden, as we finished settling Laetitia back into her stroller, I realised that my engagement ring was gone!  It had somehow slipped out of my finger without me noticing it.  The frustration, saddness, anger etc that came up.  We tried looking for it but come on, it’s almost impossible to find a ring in such a big mall considering that I had NO IDEA when it slipped off.  I thought it might have been just before but I cannot be sure.

And on Sunday, I lost my wallet.  With all my important documents such as my French resident card, Social Security card, health insurance card, credit cards and of course cash.  I don’t even know what happened to it.  It could have been pickpocketed, it could have dropped out…. whatever….. I’m numb…..

I was a victim of a snatch and run in the metro (Paris subway) on Friday and I am still "tramatised" by the experience.

As I was getting into the metro (it was a huge train/metro station, like a huge maze with different trains and different entrance/exits for each train) in the centre of Paris, my cell phone was snatched out of my hands (I was playing a game on the phone - something I do often while killing time in the metro). I ran after the guy for a good 5 mins before losing him. Running after him was very instinctive, I was just not going to stand by and let someone take my things without attempting to "fight back". 

Thereafter a lady asked me if I was ok seeing that I looked lost/sad and I explained what happened. She wanted to take me to the information station to make a report. As we were walking, I saw that guy again, I started to run towards him and shouted but he run off faster than I can catch up. I shouted for people to stop him but NO BODY helped! Thereafter, we went towards where he had gone and I saw him again after a couple of minutes coming out of a different exit, I thought I’ll slowly approach him but he saw me and started running. I gave chase again but he went over a barrier and I lost him again. And I did shout for people to stop him and again NO ONE did although there were lots of people around. It was just before 5pm.

I finally gave up and went to the information station to make a report. I was so shocked. Not only by the act of being a victim of a snatch and run but by how apathetic Parisians were.

So, moral of the story for me, don’t expect actual help. Actually my hubby said after that it is SO NORMAL that no one would help and he also gently told me off for trying to run after the guy as these people could be dangerous (might carry a knife or something) and I could be hurt if I get him into a corner. I guess my sense of safety is a little lax considering that both Singapore and Canada (where I had lived) are much safer (I feel) and people are more willing to lend a hand.

On the overall, I’m more bitter about no one helped than about the lost of the phone (I’ve had my hps stolen before). I feel a lost of community spirit. Maybe I am more naive about people’s goodness. I would have totally helped if I was put in the same situation. I believe in the strenght of the community. Of course alone, I might not be able to do much but if everyone helped, it would be a different story. And in my case, we’re talking about a youth who is not much bigger build than me.

La femme chocolat = the chocolate lady = ME (SANDRA TAN)

I love love love chocolates and this song is so ME.    The gist of it is that the singer ate too much chocolates, how much she loves chocolates and how she is getting fat. HAHAHA… like me. 

Enjoy this clip.

First off, HAPPY NEW YEAR.  May 2007 be a year of abundance! Full of happiness, joy, love and blessings. 

Haha, more important things. Vacation plans for 2007!

Feb - South of France with Parents in law
March - skiing in the Alps
April - Club Med in Tunisia
May - two shorts trips within Europe…. still deciding between Barcelona, Venice, Prague
July - Singapore
Aug - Beijing and south of France again
Oct - South of France
Christmas - South of France
I’ll love to plan a trip back to Canada too…. but that will depend on our budget and availability.

Other plans
Pregnant with 2nd child around 4th quarter
Improve my French (probably work on passing the DELF)
Have a more active social life.

So, where are the plans to get back into the workforce?  My heart is really torn in that aspect.  I would love to go back to work but at the same time, I know we would love to have another child.  So, if I do go back to work, I will be stopping again when I’m pregnant which seems to defeat the purpose of me getting a job (I’ll end up working for a year maybe?).  I know if I have a second child, I want to give him/her the same attention I gave to Laetitia (which is to stay home with him/her for at least the first year)…. so I guess, I’ll take things one step at a time.  I will work on my resume and send a couple off to jobs that interest me but I will not stress myself out over getting one.

Just posted on Lae’s blog what she is getting for Christmas and what I might get for her but now is the time to think for MYSELF!

Heehee….. here’s what I know I will be getting for Christmas

1. Pearl earrings (from hubby)

2. Nice black Pierre Balmain coat (from myself!)

And of course I’m sure there will be those that are the surprises!  Heehee.

And wishlist of presents I would like.

1. Nice black boots to replace my current Kenneth Cole pair

2. Another coat but a shorter one

3. Nice cashmere turtle neck tops

4. Good chocolates

5. Umbra Trapeze frames (to hang 3 to 6 photos)

6. Lacy boyshorts

7. A pair of nice bootcut jeans

That’s all I can think of for now.

I realised that I seemed to have lost track of my personal life since having Laetitia.  Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration but there is some truth to it.  At least in blogging terms, one would find so much written about Lae in her blog but no updates on this personal blog of mine.  And when I took the trip back to Singapore, so much revolved around her.  I could hardly arrange any appointments without taking her into account.  Now that we are back in Paris, it’s even more evident that she is the focal point of my life.  I am trying very hard to take a step back from that by starting to leave her more and more in the garderie (daycare) and also finding a babysitter. 

With the free time that I will have away from Laetitia, I am going to work out a game plan on rediscovering myself!  There is a whole list of things I want to do!

1) Redo my resume and start looking out for a suitable job.  (Preferably a flexi-time job that will allow me to take as much vacations as we had planned for 2007)

2) Start French classes again

3) Have coffee/tea/lunch/dinners with friends alone (Would love a regular girls night out)

4) Have romantic dates with my darling

That’s it for now.  Doesn’t seems like it’s much but it will take a lot of effort to get my act together.  Hopefully I feel like I’m more "Sandra" instead of "Laetitia’s mummy" soon.

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote two entries questioning what I wanted out of my life and what would make me happy. The two post "What would make me happy?" written on May 13, and "A year from now…" written on June 14 showed that I was not exactly contented with my life at that point. 

In "What would make me happy?", I wrote that I would like to see three things happen in my life.  One was to have a baby, second was to move out of Toronto to Paris and the last was to find a more challenging job.  Well, I have two out of the three and surprise surprise, I do not seem to be at the top of the world.  I think although I have achieved (if I can use that word) two out of the three desires, our live circumtances has changed so much that I find myself uncontented again.  This is sad!  How could it be that after saying that this is what I want, got 2/3 of it and still not have fully happy.  Maybe there is something about the middle the year.  I seem to get a little more depression during this time.  It might be because my birthday is coming and I know I am getting older and it depresses me?  I really need to sort this out.

At the end of the "A year from now…" entry, I wrote that I would probably be reading the post a year from that time with a smile on my face.  Sad to say, that is not the case.   I am happy that God has blessed us with Laetitia.  She is the cutest and most adorable child (Of course I will say that since I am her mom right!).  I do feel truly blessed in that aspect.  However, I am no longer so sure that I am happy in Paris.  Sometimes I wonder if we made the right decision to come here.  It is a lovely city with lots to do and see but with me being a stay-at-home mummy (SAHM), things does not seem as rosy anymore.  My french is not perfect yet and it is almost impossible for me to continue taking classes as I have a baby to look after.  And going out with baby is a lot more work than just going out by myself.  There are things to bring (diapers, extra clothes for Laetitia etc), feeding time to worry about, baby changing area to search for and even difficulties with stopping in a cafe if baby is fussy.  I cannot even try on clothes with a baby!  I seem to be seeing things in much more negative light recently.  I feel more restrictions on my lifestyle that a fulfillment of being a mum.  Maybe it is because I am "all alone" in the city with no support.  I cannot easily take a breather from being a mum and just feel like I belong to myself.  And being a SAHM and moving from Toronto to Paris means that we went from a very comfortable two income family with just the two of us in Toronto to a single income three person family in expensive Paris.  Not exactly a very choice financial situation.  We are not starving but definitely not as comfortably off financially compared to what we have in Toronto.  All these makes me question if moving to Paris and having the baby at the same time was the best choice we made.  If we moved but did not have Laetitia, would it be better?  If we did not move and have Laetitia in Toronto, would it be better?  It might but I will never know.

So back to the drawing board, what would make me happy?  And how would I want to see myself a year from now?

I think I would be happy if firstly, I have some time off from looking after Laetitia 24/7.  We are trying to work this out by Etienne taking care of her once a week during the weekend and me leaving Laetitia in an infantcare facilities up to three times a week in the afternoons.  Secondly, I think I will be happy if I could find some kind of flexible work.  The best would be a job that will allow me to work some days from home.  I would love both the mental workout and the additional money from being gainfully employed.  I always thought I will be happy being a SAHM but it does not seems so.  Maybe I will think differently if I am back in Singapore with my friends and family around but the truth is, I do not know.  Lastly, I do think I need more friends here, friends whom I could hang out with once in a while.  Looking at this list, I think I am suffering from the lack of adult activities with a baby in Paris.

Well, let’s see what will happen and what changes I can make to my life…

Well, it’s 2 months after the birth of my little darling and I have lost all the pregnancy weight and MORE!  I am so happy with myself.  I put on a grand total of 7kgs throughout the pregnancy (not a lot I know).  Since I had lost 2kgs during the first trimester and most of the gains were in the last 22 weeks, it means that I put on 9kgs in 22 weeks of the pregnancy.  And I lost all the 9kgs plus an extra 3kgs in the last 9 weeks postpartum.  Not too bad at all.  The only thing is, my tummy is still a little wobbly and I cannot apply much products to the area or do too much tummy exercises due to the c-section.   I shall be patient.